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Late 30-something, married with two kids struggling to find the balance between wife, mother, employee, runner and myself.
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    Wednesday, January 16, 2008

    You Know You are in the South When...

    I never considered Oklahoma as southern. If I thought of it at all - beyond Grapes of Wrath imagery - it was as that state south of Kansas and full of oil. Well, that may be true for much of western OK, but NE OK is hilly and green and really rather pretty. And southern.

    What makes a region southern?

    Is it the accent? The slight droppin' of the "g" from "ing" words? The lazy way of speaking that makes y'all an acceptable term?

    Is it the food? Grits - definitely southern. Okra - yes. BBQ - well, maybe. Sweet potato pie - yes. Black eyes peas - mhmm.

    Is it the presence of sweet tea? Hell, yeah, definitely

    Is it the ubiquitous references to Christianity? Well, to me, yes, it is.

    When I first moved here, I worked for an energy company as an engineer. A few months into my tenure as the only female engineer in the department, a coworker nestled himself into the guest chair in my cubicle (nicely situated near the elevators) and asked me if I had accepted Jesus Christ as my personal lord and savior.

    Dumbfounded, I told him I was not comfortable discussing such matters with him. I was astonished that such a topic would be raised in the work environment.

    Over time, I have come to realize that this familiarity and assumption of all things Christian as acceptable to others is prevalent here. It makes me uncomfortable that it is automatically assumed that I attend church functions not once/week, but three times at a minimum - twice on Sundays and once on Wednesdays. It is assumed that I have accepted JC as my personal lord and savior and people are shocked and often uncomfortable to learn that I am agnostic.

    While my hubby is adamantly anti-Christian, I am simply not a believer. I do not care that others believe and I do not find them foolish. But I find that when others learn of my lack of belief, they are nonplussed. They do not know what to do with me or what to think.

    My MIL is a fine example. She is a strong believer and has more faith than nearly anyone I know. She and I have had interesting discussions surrounding this topic. On the other hand, she and my husband have emotional arguments about it, possibly explained by the fact that he was once a passionate believer and is now a passionate unbeliever.

    What does bother me is when people use their belief to further their business; a businessman with a fish on his card; a car dealer with this posted on his billboard "Jesus is the reason for the season." It may be unintentional, but I find it loathsome. I would not buy a car from that dealer because it gave an impression of exclusivity.

    I was raised in Denver and did not find this sort of blatant expressions of personal faith so prevalent. Perhaps it is more personal there. Perhaps it is the times and the rise of the religious right. I don't know. But, to me, this is one of the most southern things about where I live. And it makes me more uncomfortable the longer I live here.

    6 Comments:

    Blogger Gretchen said...

    Around here, there are two choices: Lutheran or Catholic.

    It isn't nearly as 'in your face,' though.

    Reason #118473 I live in the North.

    10:25 AM  
    Anonymous Anonymous said...

    I blogged about this thing just today. BUT I am the business that would have the fish on my card. Actually I go a step further. We have a 4 Spiritual Laws booklet that is sent out in every customer order. As I state in my blog, I struggle with this practice often but have not had the "guts" to stop it. I wish I had a direct hotline to God. That way I could ask.

    1:10 PM  
    Blogger Unknown said...

    That is TOTALLY one of my hot buttons. Like, it REALLY gets me fired up - Using the church to push your business. It's revolting. I also hate it when people use the flag, too.

    You know I am agnostic, in that believe in a higher power, I just don't know what it is... but I CERTAINLY think he/she/it is appalled when people use their name to gain business or to clearly tell people not of their faith that they are unwelcome.

    10:02 PM  
    Blogger Unknown said...

    I might have to go off on this tomorrow, LOL.

    10:03 PM  
    Blogger Christina said...

    Hi! Thanks to aimee who did indeed go off on this today, I came over here to read your post. Oh man how do you stand it? I think my skin would be crawling, but then, I was born and raised and still live in So Cal where religion is definitely a personal thing only. And obviously being the land of fruits and nuts we follow about as many religions as there are out there! It's always fascinating to hear about how truly different each region of the country can be.

    10:15 AM  
    Blogger Lisa said...

    Stopping in via Aimee's blog and all I can say is Amen sistah! (no pun intended, really!)

    5:40 AM  

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