Performance Anxiety
Warning - this post is all about my anxieties for running tomorrow, so if you do not want to read about running ad nauseum, you may want to skip. This is truly an insight into the stream of conscious thoughts passing through a runner's mind. If you think I am egocentric about this, you are correct. It's all about me.
I am super nervous about running the Tulsa Run tomorrow. Thinking back, I have always had a nervous stomach for soccer games, for running, any sport. Regardless of how much I trained, how mentally and / or physically prepared I was, I still have to visit the bathroom multiple times, still have doubts as to my ability to compete.
The first time I ran the Tulsa Run was in 1997, the year I moved from New Mexico to Tulsa. I had moved over Labor Day and so was in Tulsa for less than two months. A good friend from college, Vicky, had recently moved to Houston and we decided to run it together. By this time, she had already run a few marathons. I do not believe I had competed in a race since college. Needless to say, I had no idea what I was doing. However, I did know that I was fit and thought I could handle 9.3 mi.
It was my slowest time ever - finished in 1:31:09. The next year, I clocked my fastest time at 1:22:59. The only time I have not run the Tulsa Run is the year I had Nathan. In the other years, my times have fallen between these two times.
Tomorrow, I have three different goal times, depending on how I feel, I will shoot for one of these:
Low goal = 1:30:00 = 9:41 min/mi = 6:00 min/km
Medium goal = 1:27:00 = 9:21 min/mi = 5:48 min/km
Stretch goal = 1:24:00 = 9:02 min/mi = 5:36 min/km
My iPod Shuffle is charging and has been charging all week. I seem to have a dud battery in it as it seems to only last about 3-4 hours before the battery dies. I want a Nano, but will hold off on that purchase until Christmas or my birthday. I do not have good luck with iPods, yet keep throwing money at them as they are awesome.
Officially, runners are not supposed to wear headphones and music devices. I find this rule ridiculous for the general mid-pack runners like me. The extra kick I may receive when running to a song that lightens my step is not enough to make me competitive in any arena. If it helps ease the pain and kill the monotony of pounding and counting steps for 1 1/2 hours, I am all for it. So I will ignore that rule, as usual, and bring my tunes.
There are usually several photographers along the route. I have never liked the official race pictures of myself. They are not flattering. The only race picture I have of myself was after last year's The Rock Half Marathon in Dallas. I ran it with my friend Vicky and a friend of hers from Houston and we had a picture taken of the three of us after the race. It's a good pic, but cut from the waist up so that my strong, muscular, and somewhat masculine looking legs are not seen. Thank goodness. They are not my best feature, but they do so much for me that I refuse to malign them.
The weather is supposed to be cool - looks like 39 deg at the 9 a.m. start, warming to 45 deg by 11 a.m. Wind at 7 mph. The conditions are excellent, in my opinion. I love running in cool weather. My lungs perform better at these temps than at warmer temps.
Have I told you how much I sweat? I am a sweat-er. It's disgusting for a girl and my grandmother would say that girls "gently glow." There is nothing gentle about my sweat when I run. And it is much more than a glow. So another good thing about the temp tomorrow is the relative sweating that will occur.
Last year, if I recall, it was rather warm. I remember throwing caution aside around 13 km mark when the local hash house harriers group offered an ounce or two of beer. That contributed to at least one minute of walking and probably more like 2 or 3 minutes. Tomorrow, I doubt I will partake. I will save it for the finish line celebration.
A niggling concern is my aching breasts. I am pumping every 3-4 hours. If I leave the house around 8:15 tomorrow morning, pump the very last thing before I leave, finish within 1 1/2 hours, that puts me home around 11 or so. I should be okay, but anything longer than that and they will be aching. It's sad, but true.
I am also nervous because I need new shoes. I searched for some last month, but did not find the exact replica of my current shoes, so decided to not spend the money. My shoes have a lot of miles on them. I started wearing them at about month 2 of my pregnancy and if you consider I run 30-35 mi/wk, with 30 wks of pregnancy + 8 wks post-partum, this is over 1,000 miles on my shoes. Shoes should be replaced at about 400-500 mi intervals. These should have been retired a long time ago. My rationale for keeping them is that last year, my feet started to become numb around 11-12 km. That's a bad sign. I ran a half marathon the previous spring with feet that were numb for the last 45 minutes. It's hard. It hurts. I hope my broken down shoes will not cause this tomorrow.
What to wear? Is my favorite running bra washed? What about a good shirt that will wear well and not look too bad afterward? Which shorts? No chafing here, please.
Now all I need to do is go pick up packets. Nathan enjoys going to the runner's expo, so we will do this after school today.
Next: all about the run.
I am super nervous about running the Tulsa Run tomorrow. Thinking back, I have always had a nervous stomach for soccer games, for running, any sport. Regardless of how much I trained, how mentally and / or physically prepared I was, I still have to visit the bathroom multiple times, still have doubts as to my ability to compete.
The first time I ran the Tulsa Run was in 1997, the year I moved from New Mexico to Tulsa. I had moved over Labor Day and so was in Tulsa for less than two months. A good friend from college, Vicky, had recently moved to Houston and we decided to run it together. By this time, she had already run a few marathons. I do not believe I had competed in a race since college. Needless to say, I had no idea what I was doing. However, I did know that I was fit and thought I could handle 9.3 mi.
It was my slowest time ever - finished in 1:31:09. The next year, I clocked my fastest time at 1:22:59. The only time I have not run the Tulsa Run is the year I had Nathan. In the other years, my times have fallen between these two times.
Tomorrow, I have three different goal times, depending on how I feel, I will shoot for one of these:
Low goal = 1:30:00 = 9:41 min/mi = 6:00 min/km
Medium goal = 1:27:00 = 9:21 min/mi = 5:48 min/km
Stretch goal = 1:24:00 = 9:02 min/mi = 5:36 min/km
My iPod Shuffle is charging and has been charging all week. I seem to have a dud battery in it as it seems to only last about 3-4 hours before the battery dies. I want a Nano, but will hold off on that purchase until Christmas or my birthday. I do not have good luck with iPods, yet keep throwing money at them as they are awesome.
Officially, runners are not supposed to wear headphones and music devices. I find this rule ridiculous for the general mid-pack runners like me. The extra kick I may receive when running to a song that lightens my step is not enough to make me competitive in any arena. If it helps ease the pain and kill the monotony of pounding and counting steps for 1 1/2 hours, I am all for it. So I will ignore that rule, as usual, and bring my tunes.
There are usually several photographers along the route. I have never liked the official race pictures of myself. They are not flattering. The only race picture I have of myself was after last year's The Rock Half Marathon in Dallas. I ran it with my friend Vicky and a friend of hers from Houston and we had a picture taken of the three of us after the race. It's a good pic, but cut from the waist up so that my strong, muscular, and somewhat masculine looking legs are not seen. Thank goodness. They are not my best feature, but they do so much for me that I refuse to malign them.
The weather is supposed to be cool - looks like 39 deg at the 9 a.m. start, warming to 45 deg by 11 a.m. Wind at 7 mph. The conditions are excellent, in my opinion. I love running in cool weather. My lungs perform better at these temps than at warmer temps.
Have I told you how much I sweat? I am a sweat-er. It's disgusting for a girl and my grandmother would say that girls "gently glow." There is nothing gentle about my sweat when I run. And it is much more than a glow. So another good thing about the temp tomorrow is the relative sweating that will occur.
Last year, if I recall, it was rather warm. I remember throwing caution aside around 13 km mark when the local hash house harriers group offered an ounce or two of beer. That contributed to at least one minute of walking and probably more like 2 or 3 minutes. Tomorrow, I doubt I will partake. I will save it for the finish line celebration.
A niggling concern is my aching breasts. I am pumping every 3-4 hours. If I leave the house around 8:15 tomorrow morning, pump the very last thing before I leave, finish within 1 1/2 hours, that puts me home around 11 or so. I should be okay, but anything longer than that and they will be aching. It's sad, but true.
I am also nervous because I need new shoes. I searched for some last month, but did not find the exact replica of my current shoes, so decided to not spend the money. My shoes have a lot of miles on them. I started wearing them at about month 2 of my pregnancy and if you consider I run 30-35 mi/wk, with 30 wks of pregnancy + 8 wks post-partum, this is over 1,000 miles on my shoes. Shoes should be replaced at about 400-500 mi intervals. These should have been retired a long time ago. My rationale for keeping them is that last year, my feet started to become numb around 11-12 km. That's a bad sign. I ran a half marathon the previous spring with feet that were numb for the last 45 minutes. It's hard. It hurts. I hope my broken down shoes will not cause this tomorrow.
What to wear? Is my favorite running bra washed? What about a good shirt that will wear well and not look too bad afterward? Which shorts? No chafing here, please.
Now all I need to do is go pick up packets. Nathan enjoys going to the runner's expo, so we will do this after school today.
Next: all about the run.
3 Comments:
T-
Just don't go out of the gate too fast... That's always my downfall.
Have fun!
I went through the same shoe problem earlier this fall...found some kickass Nikes at a great price - they felt fine in the store - and then when I actually used them I thought my achilles tendon was going to snap right in half. I ended up searching out a duplicate pair of Adidas almost like my old ones that work like a jewel.
Of course, I still can't breathe (damn bronchitis) so any running is being left to other people right now.
Good luck, T! Can't wait to hear all about it!
OK, I came to comment on how this was a fun post even for a non-runner like me but I am totally cracking up at your spammer!
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