It's a Crapshoot
There's a ten or fifteen minute time period every morning that I dread. It's the time it takes for me to ask, demand, cajole, beg, plead and ultimately threaten my son to (1) change into his clothes, (2) brush his teeth or allow me to brush his teeth, (3) doctor the warts on his hand and finally, (4) put his shoes and socks on. He is 4 1/2 years old. I know he is fully capable of performing at least one, if not two or three, of these tasks by himself.
Some mornings, this can be accomplished in 5 min. Sometimes it can take 20 min. I dread it. It's the lowest part of my day and the one part of my day that can set the tone for the rest of the day. Did I hold my cool? Was I able to make him do what I wanted him to do easily and happily? Did I resort to ridiculous threats? Did he comply? Did he spit on me? Did he dance the naked boy dance and run around then decide he had to go #2, thus taking another 20 min of time?
This morning, I found myself shaking with frustration. I do not understand why it has to be this difficult. I think I am making it harder than it has to be. Really, why shouldn't I build this cushion of required time into my schedule and save myself and more importantly, him, the grief of losing it over something to trivial? Twenty minutes is a lot of time. That has me waking at 5 a.m. instead of 5:20 a.m. Are the precious 20 minutes of sleep worth losing to buy myself an easier morning?
I am going to put it into action on Monday. Will report back. Any ideas are welcome.
There's a ten or fifteen minute time period every morning that I dread. It's the time it takes for me to ask, demand, cajole, beg, plead and ultimately threaten my son to (1) change into his clothes, (2) brush his teeth or allow me to brush his teeth, (3) doctor the warts on his hand and finally, (4) put his shoes and socks on. He is 4 1/2 years old. I know he is fully capable of performing at least one, if not two or three, of these tasks by himself.
Some mornings, this can be accomplished in 5 min. Sometimes it can take 20 min. I dread it. It's the lowest part of my day and the one part of my day that can set the tone for the rest of the day. Did I hold my cool? Was I able to make him do what I wanted him to do easily and happily? Did I resort to ridiculous threats? Did he comply? Did he spit on me? Did he dance the naked boy dance and run around then decide he had to go #2, thus taking another 20 min of time?
This morning, I found myself shaking with frustration. I do not understand why it has to be this difficult. I think I am making it harder than it has to be. Really, why shouldn't I build this cushion of required time into my schedule and save myself and more importantly, him, the grief of losing it over something to trivial? Twenty minutes is a lot of time. That has me waking at 5 a.m. instead of 5:20 a.m. Are the precious 20 minutes of sleep worth losing to buy myself an easier morning?
I am going to put it into action on Monday. Will report back. Any ideas are welcome.
6 Comments:
I have been fighting this for quite some time as well. A is 5 next month and we are finally making progress. The slip on (no lace) shoes have helped tremendously! And teeth brushing always comes directly after eating breakfast, no questions asked. But I so feel your pain.
S. pulls the same stuff with us. She's been pretty good this week, and I wish I knew what we are doing right so we can repeat.
I find that with Monkey Man, the better rested he is, the more cooperative he is in the mornings. Tired boy = PIA.
We are making more efforts to work with him on getting himself ready, which requires even more patience, but I have to believe that it will be worth it. Plus I don't want to still be brushing his teeth for him when he's 12.
Hmmm...
What do you have to do? Meaning - you have to dr the wart on his hand. Everything else he can do.
Explain to him - briefly - that now he will be responsible for getting dressed and brushing his teeth etc. Maybe make a chart with pictures of what needs to be done that he can cross off. The next morning, get up at 5:20. Remind him what he's responsible for and let him do it. Maybe he doesn't brush his teeth - once won't kill him. Maybe he goes to school in his underwear because he's not ready (bring them in the car) - that will certainly get his attention.
Right now he's got the power and he knows it. Take it back by making him responsible for his actions. Take the emotion out of it.
Call/email me - I'm not quite the hardass that I sound, and am certainly sympathetic to where you're at!
Taking G's advice and remembering in the back of my mind that I need to take back control, I picked my fight this morning and ignored the fact that he had climbed into the cabinets and ate two cookies for breakfast and instead focused on having him change his clothes, brush his teeth and put on his shoes and socks by himself before I was finished getting ready. He was amazingly cooperative.
I think I am going to the bookstore to buy one of those weekly charts.
Tree
How is it going now? I cracked up at your description of it.
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