The Psyche Up
Ever since I received confirmation of enrollment for the Nike Women's Marathon in October, I have been filled with dread. It is hard to explain how much I hate running when it is hot and humid. I can handle hot. I can handle humid. I cannot handle them together for 20 miles or more.
My mind is encountering a huge block of granite in trying to wrap itself around the concept of training for this marathon in an Oklahoma summer. I remind myself that if I train in tough conditions, I will find the actual race to be much easier. I have yet to own that idea.
Over the past 10 years that I have lived here (has it really been that long??), my mode of operation from June through August has been to simply maintain my fitness. I hold out no hope for any actual fitness gains. I know myself too well. I know how hard it is to slog through a run in 90 deg and 60% humidity. I know I cannot possibly train on a treadmill. I have done that. It sucks. It is mindnumbingly boring and awful, even with the best of television available. Even directly under a vent shooting out 67 deg air.
Yesterday was relatively humid here, but only 73 deg. I had several little running stints with Nathan while he rode his bicycle and I ran beside him - three times we did this for 17 min each. I added a 4 mi treadmill run later in the day and I perspired a LOT. Imagine that in another four months. Not a pretty sight.
I am trying to take heart from Gretchen, who ran her first marathon in Iowa in June. In 90 deg weather. Imagine that. I cannot. I know I would have dropped out. I am in awe of her accomplishment.
A friend told me of her awesome 2 hour run on Saturday morning - the first time she ever simply laced up her shoes, clipped her iPod to her waist and headed out the door for 2 hours. She was energized, excited and proud. I am proud of her, too.
And I am envious. I love that feeling.
Another friend told me of her revamped Sat morning workout - she was supposed to go for a 2 hour ride and run for triathlon training, but it was 45 deg and raining. Instead, she ran a 5k loop around a lake in the rain. I am proud of her.
And I am envious.
Running goes in phases for me. There are times when I feel like I am flying and light as a feather. There are times where I feel like I am slogging through water with heavy legs, achey feet and no motivation to move forward. These feelings can happen within the same week, but rarely do. I had an autumn season in which I felt fantastic, complete with several PR's. I have had a ho-hum winter season. I ran a 9K race with a PR three weeks ago. But now I feel sort of like I am wandering about.
I had hoped setting a marathon goal would help motivate me and lift my spirits to a return of that fantastic feeling. Instead, I am stressing over how to even set up my marathon training. I am intimidated and scared.
My mind is encountering a huge block of granite in trying to wrap itself around the concept of training for this marathon in an Oklahoma summer. I remind myself that if I train in tough conditions, I will find the actual race to be much easier. I have yet to own that idea.
Over the past 10 years that I have lived here (has it really been that long??), my mode of operation from June through August has been to simply maintain my fitness. I hold out no hope for any actual fitness gains. I know myself too well. I know how hard it is to slog through a run in 90 deg and 60% humidity. I know I cannot possibly train on a treadmill. I have done that. It sucks. It is mindnumbingly boring and awful, even with the best of television available. Even directly under a vent shooting out 67 deg air.
Yesterday was relatively humid here, but only 73 deg. I had several little running stints with Nathan while he rode his bicycle and I ran beside him - three times we did this for 17 min each. I added a 4 mi treadmill run later in the day and I perspired a LOT. Imagine that in another four months. Not a pretty sight.
I am trying to take heart from Gretchen, who ran her first marathon in Iowa in June. In 90 deg weather. Imagine that. I cannot. I know I would have dropped out. I am in awe of her accomplishment.
A friend told me of her awesome 2 hour run on Saturday morning - the first time she ever simply laced up her shoes, clipped her iPod to her waist and headed out the door for 2 hours. She was energized, excited and proud. I am proud of her, too.
And I am envious. I love that feeling.
Another friend told me of her revamped Sat morning workout - she was supposed to go for a 2 hour ride and run for triathlon training, but it was 45 deg and raining. Instead, she ran a 5k loop around a lake in the rain. I am proud of her.
And I am envious.
Running goes in phases for me. There are times when I feel like I am flying and light as a feather. There are times where I feel like I am slogging through water with heavy legs, achey feet and no motivation to move forward. These feelings can happen within the same week, but rarely do. I had an autumn season in which I felt fantastic, complete with several PR's. I have had a ho-hum winter season. I ran a 9K race with a PR three weeks ago. But now I feel sort of like I am wandering about.
I had hoped setting a marathon goal would help motivate me and lift my spirits to a return of that fantastic feeling. Instead, I am stressing over how to even set up my marathon training. I am intimidated and scared.
5 Comments:
Too bad you can't come up here to train!
I'm the same way about winter training... Hate it.
Give yourself a week or so to even process the thought of another marathon - I'm sure you'll do great!
I go through phases like this too. I hate the heat in humidity. Running in cold and snow no problem. Heat -- that's another thing entirely. So for what it's worth I empathize.
Marathon training is a scary thing. More so the second time... I found. In the heat, I'd be freaking too...
Hugs girl. Not that it means much since i am such a slacker, but I am so incredibly proud of you. Especially when you get scared and intimidated - that makes you more human, and stronger, IMO.
I like what Aimee had to say.
You know that you are one of the most dedicated, inspirational runners I know. You love it, you know you do. I am certain that this blah period will pass. Yes, summers here stink. Running in the heat and humidity is hard... but we do it. YOU do it every year. I do think the motivation will come back to you. Lets just get through the 1/2 in 3 weeks, then take it from there. Once you achieve another PR, the fire will be lighted again.
Anne
I agree with Anne, you are definitely inspirational! Thanks for the kudos, I feel like I've finally made peace with the running.
I am dreading the build up to the triathlon, the big one is Aug 24 and the weather in MD during the summer isn't much better than there. I guess swimming better become my favorite sport :)
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