The Drug Dilemma
A very good friend discovered her nearly 16 yo stepson had been smoking marijuana and taking prescriptions, maybe for a few months. They have intervened, the young man seems truly relieved that it has been discovered and that he has come clean and that his parents and family are involved.
I literally just discovered that N's beloved after care teacher's 19 yo son died Saturday morning of an accidental overdose. How she is going to go forward with this is beyond me, except she still has a younger son about to graduate from high school.
I never really dealt with this growing up as I was very good girl. I was not curious, I was simply afraid. Afraid of my parents, of being caught, if what it would actually be like. This fear remained with me throughout college and even into young adulthood.
On the other hand, my husband was curious and admits to trying nearly everything under the sun except that which would require a needle. If it could be smoked, eaten, inhaled or snorted, he did it. And he can live to tell about it. And he is a wildly successful person, despite all of it.
So the dilemma with talking about drugs to our children, when the time is right, is what exactly do we tell them? How do we instill a healthy respect for drugs and what they can do and what others can do? How honest should one be with one's children?
I literally just discovered that N's beloved after care teacher's 19 yo son died Saturday morning of an accidental overdose. How she is going to go forward with this is beyond me, except she still has a younger son about to graduate from high school.
I never really dealt with this growing up as I was very good girl. I was not curious, I was simply afraid. Afraid of my parents, of being caught, if what it would actually be like. This fear remained with me throughout college and even into young adulthood.
On the other hand, my husband was curious and admits to trying nearly everything under the sun except that which would require a needle. If it could be smoked, eaten, inhaled or snorted, he did it. And he can live to tell about it. And he is a wildly successful person, despite all of it.
So the dilemma with talking about drugs to our children, when the time is right, is what exactly do we tell them? How do we instill a healthy respect for drugs and what they can do and what others can do? How honest should one be with one's children?
4 Comments:
I can't remember what brought it up, but Declan and I have already had a superficial discussion about it. I don't believe in the Just Say No rhetoric, so I told him in kid friendly terms, that drugs make you do things that you not normally do, that they can be dangerous and also that they are illegal so you can get in trouble with the police. Obviously we will discuss further as he gets older.
I am very sorry about your friends. It makes me so sad.
Part of the discussion for me will be the same that I'm already having with my girls over alcohol: their brains are developing and will be making important connections within until their early 20s, when everything slows down a bit. A fully developed brain is able to handle the effects of alcohol and drugs in a way that a maturing brain cannot handle - so they need wait to introduce any substances so that there are not permanent consequences.
I hope it works . . .
I have discussed this for years and years with the kiddos. I am not sure when I started, I guess maybe they heard something that sparked a question, so we started.
I also had both older ones go through the D.A.R.E. program.
I am always honest with my children though so I did say things like people do this because it makes them feel good but it can be very, very dangerous. And, just so much more that I can't even write it all here.
I think honesty and age appropriate is the key. As they age, you change how you discuss and talk with them. Also let them ask questions and make them feel comfortable with asking even the most out there questions!
I agree with all three!
KISS - Keep It Simple Sweetheart.
No need to go into the nitty-gritty right now, or scare them unnecessarily, but be as honest (and age appropriate) as you can.
Hugs to your friend - I can't even imagine.
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