Personal Bests

A little brag to start my day because it makes me grin whenever I think of it.

As you may know, N goes to a school located at a local university and loosely associated with the school itself. He thinks he actually attends the university. The university held it annual fundraiser run this weekend - 1 mi fun run, 5k race and 8k race. N and W ran the 1 mi fun run and looked so darn cute doing it. I ran the 8k race.

I have a bit of performance anxiety when it comes to racing. I can have fabulous training runs only to completely bonk at the race for which I was training. The marathon in March is evidence of such.

The boys finished in about 11 min, grabbed some water (and a cookie) and headed out to change clothes for soccer pics and game. About 5 min later, the 8k / 5k started. I started out and felt good. I clocked my first km at about 5:15 min, thinking not too bad. I had a stretch goal of 40 min flat, but thought it might be closer to 42 min. So, the second km, I had 9:46 min. The third km, I was at 14:30. This was a wee bit downhill and I was passing people, taking advantage of the natural slope versus the feeling to wanting to brake myself as I went down the hill. At the 4 km mark, I was at 19:10.

I was well on my way to meeting my goal, but all I could think about was those uphill sections ahead. BLECH. Well, I made it. Most of the race, I was running with one guy ahead and one guy behind me just a few paces. I used them to pace myself and it worked well. At the 6k water stop, I stopped to take a sip and walk a few paces, then made myself start running again. At 7k, I could see the last turn, then the stretch into the stadium.

I crossed the finish line at 39:13, chip time. I personal best, the first in my age group (1/20), eighth in women (8/104) and 68th overall finisher (68/240). I was stoked, but as I sprinted across the line and stopped for a volunteer to remove the chip timer, I was nauseous. I truly had dug deep and performed about as well as my body was able to perform.

I felt wonderful. I had achieved something I had not done in some time - to race very well and to prove to myself that my training was working. Sometimes, as I am in the middle of a tempo run or on the 5th of 10 speed repeats or doing a slow but long run on the weekends, I wonder if it is really worth it. Is following a more rigorous training program really going to improve my times and does it really matter to me? Why do I not return to logging 10 min miles every day in a normal 4-5 mi run? Why am I obsessed with time? I am still not a contender in any way, so why do I care if I can shave 30 seconds off my time over X miles?

My answer is yes, it is worth it. I am competing with myself. I am trying to improve my times to show myself that it can be done. It does not matter that I am not going to win a metal or be the very first out of every woman. I know there are many more runners out there who are faster. However, I know now that I am putting forth my best effort and that I am working hard for myself.