Need Some Help / Input
I have been pumping since Jocelyn was about 2 days old. She was a wee little girl and would fall asleep at the breast. Also, she had troubles maintaining body temperature and had lost more than 10% of her birth weight, so I made the decision to pump and feed via bottle.
When I had Nathan, I tried pumping / breastfeeding for six weeks. He would eat and eat and I had ample supply, but he was not gaining weight, had pustules on his face, and in general was very uncomfortable, so one day we tried formula and he was satiated. We never went back.
This time around, I really wanted to try to breastfeed / pump & bottle feed. It has been a resounding success. Once again, I have ample supply - I am talking like 40-50 oz / day. Jocelyn requires maybe 25-30 oz/day. She is doing very well, no problems.
I am torn. One on hand, I love being able to supply her with all her needs. I love the effect of pumping - my weight is at the lowest it has been since I was in high school. I do not like being tied to the pump every 3 1/2 - 6 hours. I am growing weary of pumping at 11 p.m. at night and again at 4:30 a.m. I am growing tired of hauling the pump to work and back home, washing bottles, etc. Most of all, I am tired of big breasts. I hate them. Normally, I am a 34B. Not big, not tiny, just right. My shirts all fit well with this size. But with the big nursing breasts, I am very uncomfortable showing any skin whatsoever. I am battling one of two evils - nipple erection or the outline of a nursing pad. Neither is a good look.
I know I am partially responsible for this dissatisfaction. I have yet to go purchase a really good bra that fits. I am wearing sports bras every day. When I was pregnant, I switched to the sports bra at about 4 mo. So, realistically, I have been wearing only sports bras for roughly 11 months. I am tired of it. But, I have yet to find the time to go get fit for a proper bra. While at Target two weeks ago, I bought one that I thought would fit - it was a 38C - and it does not. It is too big around my ribs. I have no clue what size bra I need. For heavens' sake, I sleep in a bra.
So, here I am. Jocelyn will be 6 months old in 2 wks. When we return from Napa Valley, I will start her on cereal. When I started this whole pumping endeavor, I had no concrete plans for how long I wanted to do it. But since I am at 6 months, I think, why not 9 months or a year? By that time, she will switch to milk and we do not have to deal with formula at all. Part of me thinks that all is going so well, so why introduce formula? But part of me really wants my breasts back to normal. They want to be free!
So help me out here. Tell me what size bra I really need or how to measure to find out. Tell me about a good bra that you wear / wore when nursing or pumping. Tell me about the benefits of continuing to give breastmilk beyond 6 months. DO NOT tell me about the cutesy little t's you will wear this summer while I am stuck with the mongo breasts.
When I had Nathan, I tried pumping / breastfeeding for six weeks. He would eat and eat and I had ample supply, but he was not gaining weight, had pustules on his face, and in general was very uncomfortable, so one day we tried formula and he was satiated. We never went back.
This time around, I really wanted to try to breastfeed / pump & bottle feed. It has been a resounding success. Once again, I have ample supply - I am talking like 40-50 oz / day. Jocelyn requires maybe 25-30 oz/day. She is doing very well, no problems.
I am torn. One on hand, I love being able to supply her with all her needs. I love the effect of pumping - my weight is at the lowest it has been since I was in high school. I do not like being tied to the pump every 3 1/2 - 6 hours. I am growing weary of pumping at 11 p.m. at night and again at 4:30 a.m. I am growing tired of hauling the pump to work and back home, washing bottles, etc. Most of all, I am tired of big breasts. I hate them. Normally, I am a 34B. Not big, not tiny, just right. My shirts all fit well with this size. But with the big nursing breasts, I am very uncomfortable showing any skin whatsoever. I am battling one of two evils - nipple erection or the outline of a nursing pad. Neither is a good look.
I know I am partially responsible for this dissatisfaction. I have yet to go purchase a really good bra that fits. I am wearing sports bras every day. When I was pregnant, I switched to the sports bra at about 4 mo. So, realistically, I have been wearing only sports bras for roughly 11 months. I am tired of it. But, I have yet to find the time to go get fit for a proper bra. While at Target two weeks ago, I bought one that I thought would fit - it was a 38C - and it does not. It is too big around my ribs. I have no clue what size bra I need. For heavens' sake, I sleep in a bra.
So, here I am. Jocelyn will be 6 months old in 2 wks. When we return from Napa Valley, I will start her on cereal. When I started this whole pumping endeavor, I had no concrete plans for how long I wanted to do it. But since I am at 6 months, I think, why not 9 months or a year? By that time, she will switch to milk and we do not have to deal with formula at all. Part of me thinks that all is going so well, so why introduce formula? But part of me really wants my breasts back to normal. They want to be free!
So help me out here. Tell me what size bra I really need or how to measure to find out. Tell me about a good bra that you wear / wore when nursing or pumping. Tell me about the benefits of continuing to give breastmilk beyond 6 months. DO NOT tell me about the cutesy little t's you will wear this summer while I am stuck with the mongo breasts.
9 Comments:
If I could do it again, I would go longer. I remember feeling the same desire for my body back, dread of pumping at inconvenient times, and honestly looking back, I wish I had stuck it out a few more months.
Get thee a new bra (or 3) Stat. Here's a howto http://www.breast-feeding-information.com/nursing-bra-information.php but really, go get fitted at Motherhood or something similar and make yourself more comfortable. No need to suffer while you are doing it. then if it's still not working out, you'll know it's for other reasons (not just the price of a new bra that held you back).
BUT, and I mean BUT......do what is right for you and J. If now feels like the right time to stop, it's your choice. Yours.
Christina
ITA with what Christina said. I too was anxious to get my body back. My decision was easy though, because I was pumping squat at the time I quit.
Why are you pumping at 11:30 and 4:30? Does she wake up to feed still? If not, drop those right away. It will be painful for a short bit, but well worth the freedom.
I still wish I could have provided bm longer than I did. So, I say also, get the bras and keep going. You have many years to have your own body, and a really short window to provide something so wonderful for your dd.
Its hard and you have to decide what feels right. Since you are pumping almost twice what she takes a day do you a have significant freezer stash? With Ellie I stopped pumping when I knew I could get her to a year without pumping any more and then I started slowly weaning off the pumping. She continued to nurse until she was 2 but I was thrilled to just stop the pumping.
I am with shell, drop the late night and middle of the night pumping session. You don't need them to keep your supply up--you're doing fabulously!
Best of luck with your decision, it is hard, funny how no one ever tells you that in the books.
First off, I think it's awesome that you've made is 6 months and trained for a marathon! You're my hero!
How often are you pumping? How big is your freezer stash?
As for the bra - go back to target - Today. They have some pretty decent nursing bras. If you're normally a 34B, but at you're lowest weight ever (no, I'm not silently hating you), I'd try on a 34C, 34D, 32C and 32D. Something in that range should fit better. Try them on in the store. If you find one you like, buy three.
Also, as far as nursing pads, I really liked the Lansinoh brand, they do have them at Target. They were thin enough they didn't show nearly as bad as the others I tried, and they really absorbed!
If you're planning on going another 6 months, perhaps consider a second pump to keep at work? I really liked the Avent Isis, so much that it was the only one I used. It's around $45. When I was pumping, I washed it out with hot soapy water at work, and just took it home Friday's for the heavy duty wash in the dishwasher. I transported the milk back and forth.
Thanks for the input, ladies! I will try to make it to Target today or tomorrow - I have to go anyway to buy presents for the three bday parties N has this weekend. I will try them on at the store first! I promise. Thanks, Gretchen, for the input on sizes and on the Lansinoh pads.
I just started freezing about a month ago, in preparation for leaving next Friday for Napa and wanting to leave enough milk for J while I am gone. But I can easily freeze about 18 oz/day. We are limited on freezer space, though, so I am taking a week's stash at a time to my IL's deep freeze.
You guys are helping tremendously. Thank you.
Another suggestion for the bra thing. Don't limit yourself to nursing bras. I found that a really good demi bra worked well for pumping (and nursing, just not nursing in public). You will like your breasts much better if you are wearing a good bra. Your clothes will fit better, and you really will feel better.
I found pumping to be easier when I didn't have to haul the pump back and forth, so I bought a second pump that stayed at the office.
Way to go on making it to 6 months! You are awesome!
Also, fwiw, I found that my breasts started shrinking right around the 6 month mark. I suspect it was a combination of the babies getting past a growth spurt and starting to eat other foods.
Good luck to you!
Sorry I am late.
I am not one to speak since I was forced to quit early (mastitis) - but I will tell you, like Xtina... I wish wish wish I had been able to go longer. I had breastfeeding guilt for a long, long time. Of course, had I gone 6 months I probably would not have felt bad at all. Not saying you should quit. Just saying, if you decided to quit, 6 months is a healthy amount of time for you and J.
BUT. If you want to go to 9 or 12, I KNOW YOU CAN. You are a strong woman and can do anything you put your mind to.
Go buy a good bra. It would be worth it for another 3-6 months, if that is what works for you and your little girl.
Either way, we are here for ya, girl. XOXOX
um...i won't be wearing any "cutesy little tees" this summer unless i can drop at least 20 pounds between now and then--preferably 25...
I think you'll find you have more control over your breast feeding than you would expect. Pump less, especially if it is inconvenient and if you need more, add a session and you'll find production up pretty quickly.
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