Peer Influence
My heart broke for my little boy this morning. I was taking him and his friend to school when they started arguing about something insignificant, such as the number of the fire station we had just passed. Nathan was incorrect and Myles was trying to tell him he was wrong. Within 30 seconds of arguing, Myles screamed, "No, Nathan! You are wrong! That's not right!" and Nathan dissolved in tears. These were real tears, not big fake crocodile tears.
I calmed him down, told him that it was not worth crying over, and he finally said, "Myles screamed at me." At which point, Myles said, "But, Nathan, you weren't listening to me." I told Myles we do not yell at our friends.
But, you know, I am upset with Myles. He screamed - really screamed - at Nathan in a way that was not nice and would have hurt anybody's feelings. I know his parents and cannot see that either one of them would treat him this way, so I wonder where he picked that up. As upset as I am with him, I know he is simply mimicking a reaction he has seen somewhere else. If not at home, then it must have been at school.
Ah. School. That great influencer of children. I believe they learn more during five minutes on the playground than an hour in class. If this power could only be channelled in a more positive way and to reflect positive behaviors, it would be easier to stomach.
Sometimes, I think I underestimate Nathan. He does know right from wrong, just sometimes makes the wrong choice, willfully. I just hope he learns from this morning's meltdown and realizes that yelling is not the appropriate way to communicate. And I hope he can shake it off and have a good day. As resilient as children are, I bet he can.
I calmed him down, told him that it was not worth crying over, and he finally said, "Myles screamed at me." At which point, Myles said, "But, Nathan, you weren't listening to me." I told Myles we do not yell at our friends.
But, you know, I am upset with Myles. He screamed - really screamed - at Nathan in a way that was not nice and would have hurt anybody's feelings. I know his parents and cannot see that either one of them would treat him this way, so I wonder where he picked that up. As upset as I am with him, I know he is simply mimicking a reaction he has seen somewhere else. If not at home, then it must have been at school.
Ah. School. That great influencer of children. I believe they learn more during five minutes on the playground than an hour in class. If this power could only be channelled in a more positive way and to reflect positive behaviors, it would be easier to stomach.
Sometimes, I think I underestimate Nathan. He does know right from wrong, just sometimes makes the wrong choice, willfully. I just hope he learns from this morning's meltdown and realizes that yelling is not the appropriate way to communicate. And I hope he can shake it off and have a good day. As resilient as children are, I bet he can.
1 Comments:
Poor thing!
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