The Great Protector
I was awake the majority of the night last night. I am groggy today, but overshadowing the grogginess is the fact that I feel like a good mom today. Hubby is back to his out of town schedule of Mondays through Thursday evenings.
Baby J ate at 8 p.m. last night, leaving me to believe she would be asleep until 11 or 11:30. After I fed Baby J, I put Harry Potter on the TV in our bedroom and Son did his breathing treatment in our bed. He is too heavy for me to lug upstairs any longer, so doing it in our bed is easier on all of us. He was asleep by 8:45 and I moved him over.
Blissfully, I thought I could catch at least 2 hours of sleep. Alas, Baby J decided she needed a new diaper and a snack. So, I was back up at 9:30. At 10:30, my breasts were telling me it was time to pump. Then at 11:30, Baby J said it was time for her midnight feeding. The night progressed in this pattern of every 45-60 min wakings until 2 a.m. At that time, I go check in on Son and discover he wet his bed - something he has not done in at least 3 wks. I wake him up, change his clothes and sheets, start a load of laundry in the basement, then head to bed. When Son wakes in the middle of the night, he generally comes to sleep in our bed.
I finally hit the bed and Baby J is making all sorts of sounds like she is going to awaken - again. I take her from her bassinette and sit up in bed, holding her on my chest, we all fall asleep - finally. I wake at 4 a.m., in desperate need to pump. She is still asleep on my chest and Son is snuggled beside me.
Despite my lack of sleep, I feel blissfully happy. These moments should be crystallized in our memories. I want to hold on to the feeling of having my children feel warm and safe by my side, knowing I will protect them and can solve their problems. It's a heady delight.
It is strange to me that in spite of my weariness, I have more patience than usual with everyone.
Baby J ate at 8 p.m. last night, leaving me to believe she would be asleep until 11 or 11:30. After I fed Baby J, I put Harry Potter on the TV in our bedroom and Son did his breathing treatment in our bed. He is too heavy for me to lug upstairs any longer, so doing it in our bed is easier on all of us. He was asleep by 8:45 and I moved him over.
Blissfully, I thought I could catch at least 2 hours of sleep. Alas, Baby J decided she needed a new diaper and a snack. So, I was back up at 9:30. At 10:30, my breasts were telling me it was time to pump. Then at 11:30, Baby J said it was time for her midnight feeding. The night progressed in this pattern of every 45-60 min wakings until 2 a.m. At that time, I go check in on Son and discover he wet his bed - something he has not done in at least 3 wks. I wake him up, change his clothes and sheets, start a load of laundry in the basement, then head to bed. When Son wakes in the middle of the night, he generally comes to sleep in our bed.
I finally hit the bed and Baby J is making all sorts of sounds like she is going to awaken - again. I take her from her bassinette and sit up in bed, holding her on my chest, we all fall asleep - finally. I wake at 4 a.m., in desperate need to pump. She is still asleep on my chest and Son is snuggled beside me.
Despite my lack of sleep, I feel blissfully happy. These moments should be crystallized in our memories. I want to hold on to the feeling of having my children feel warm and safe by my side, knowing I will protect them and can solve their problems. It's a heady delight.
It is strange to me that in spite of my weariness, I have more patience than usual with everyone.
5 Comments:
Teresa, you sound so good! And I know the feeling you are describing, exactly. Yay for you for enjoying it and being "in the moment" with the kiddos!
I'm so glad to "see" you!
Ahhhhh, it all sounds so delightful. Where does that patience come from when you need it most and why doesn't it show up all of the time?
Why are you pumping between feedings? I *know* why you are doing it ;) but perhaps if you were more full when she needed to eat (I'm thinking at the 11:30 feeding she didn't get much because since you had pumped at 10:30?), she'd sleep a little longer? I know, I know, it's like putting together a jigsaw puzzle with pieces that are all the same color...
Megan
awesome T. HUGS :)
Megan, I am pumping and bottle feeding exclusively right now. J falls asleep at the breast so quickly and I had feared it was one of the reasons for her drop in weight while at the hospital. So I switched to bottles and she is thriving. For some reason, I find it more comfortable than bf'ing for both of us.
Also, I have a weird issue - so any input it helpful - my left side is producing roughly 1/2 of the milk that my right side produces. Will this even out?
That is so wonderful. What a lovely time in your life. Hugs!
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