I Shall Overcome

The Napa Valley Marathon.

Yes.

I am going to attempt it again.

This will be the fourth attempt.

Attempt No. 1 - 1999, I was turning 30 years old 3 days after the run.

Attempt No. 2 - 2000

Attempt No. 3 - 2007

Attempt No. 4 - scheduled for 3/2/2008

My recent successes have me believing that I might just be able to beat this darn thing soon. All I want is a finish time that is in line with how well I trained. Last year, I trained very well, felt amazing during most of the 18 weeks of training, but succumbed to a bout of influenza in the final two weeks, leaving me a wee bit drained the day of the race. Additionally, warmer than usual race conditions + sushi the day before made for unpleasant bodily discharges.

My 18 weeks started yesterday. I officially made my decision today, but have yet to register. I will do so on Friday. Anybody wish to join me?

W just told me, "I am all over supporting such an effort."

More obsession to follow.

Ten Years of the Tulsa Run

I moved to Tulsa in August 1997, over Labor Day. I remember it because Princess Diana was in a fatal accident the same weekend. I had moved here from Farmington, NM, which is in Four Corners Region. It is warm there, but it is a dry heat, not the humid, wet, icky heat of Eastern Oklahoma.

When I moved here and started running in the heat, it kicked my tail. To this day, I dislike running in the dog days of summer, although it is becoming a bit easier to do. My goal for summer running is to maintain fitness levels. Of course, I do have a treadmill inside, which provides wonderful relief from running in 85% humidity, but I enjoy running outside on the weekends at the minimum.

Ten years ago, I ran in the 20th Tulsa Run, a 15k road race starting in downtown Tulsa, meandering down along the Arkansas River, and returning to Veteran's Park. It boasts a large field, great support, volunteers, fans and great post-race goodies. I have missed it twice in the past ten years. In 2001, I had been only three weeks post-partum, so did not run. In 2006, the race was moved back two weeks to coincide with Oklahoma's Centenniel celebrations. I was eight weeks post-partum and ran it at a personal best, 1:19:41.

As mentioned previously, I ran Denver Half Marathon two weeks ago at a personal best. My friend, Anne, predicted another personal best for 2007 Tulsa Run at 1:15. I poo-poo'd the notion. My goal was simply to meet the time I had last year.

Race condition Saturday morning at 9 a.m. were perfect - clear, cool high 40's. Roughly 8,000 entrants, I think. I shivered with pride and gratitude when the troops from Fort Sill marched to the back of the lineup. They run the entire run in formation and it is an awesome sight to behold. There were 17 runners who have run all 30 runs and were designated with special plaquard on their running tees.

The gun started and it took 2 minutes to reach the starting line. I said good bye to my former boss, Dave, and told him I would see him at the finish line. Dave is a fast runner and had challenged me to run a marathon 8 years ago (it was St. George.)

The first 2 km are filled with jostling for position, moving from side to side looking for an opening, trying to find my pace. They are up and down hills and tough. I hit 3 km at about 16 minutes, started calculating in my mind where I was and how I was doing. I hit 4 km at 21:20 and 5k at 26:10. I was getting faster, so started to see a little hope.

Between 7 and 8 km, I passed a former coworker who told me my pace was great and encouraged me to keep it up. I hit 8 km at just over 40 min, so I was starting to average 5 min/km. I kept thinking of the next km mark and would not let my mind go further than that. The middle kilometers are boring and go along Peoria, then back up the same route, between 6 km and 12 km. It is typically the hardest part of the race for me to remain focused.

I hit 10 km at 50 min straight. Then I started to hope that I would indeed hit that 1:15 mark. But I knew that last 5 km would be tough - mentally and physically. At 12 km, I started counting my right footfalls. I do this to keep my pace and to focus through a tough section of a run.

I hit 13 km at 1:04:30. I struggled to maintain my focus. I hit 14 km at 1:09:35 - starting to back off my 5 min/km pace a bit, but still able to hit that mark. I hit the finish line at 1:14:40. A personal best - averaging 4:59 min/km or 8:01 min/mile.

I freaking rocked and felt awesome!

Is It a Red Shoe Day?

Thanks to Tanaya's meme, I thought of this little story.

In college, several of my friends had red shoes and we developed a rule around wearing these red shoes. It does not matter what type of shoe they were - they could be the classic Ked shoes in bright red or Sperry Top-Siders or ballet flats or sandals or high heels. The one thing about them is that they could only be worn by the wearer if said wearer were gloriously happy.

Red is a color so vibrant and beautiful and full of life that one simply had to be in a good mood in order to wear them. Long before Kelly Pickler, red shoes were not all the rage that they are now. The fact that nearly every one of my friends owned a pair set us apart and made us a group unto ourselves - or so we thought.

Next time you feel fantabulous and love what you are wearing and who you are, think of in terms of your footwear. Could it be a Red Shoe Day?

Seven Random Things

Aimee tagged me for a meme post, stating seven random things about me. I am not very random, if you have not decided that yet, so this may be quite boring.

1. I played the bassoon in high school and junior high. Why the bassoon? Well, I started playing the clarinet in 2nd grade and was terrible at it. My mom encouraged me to switch to an instrument that was part of the symphonic band, but with little competition. So, at around 5th grade, I borrowed in instrument from the junior high band (my brother was in it) and started taking private lessons. I ended up loving it as it has a gorgeous deep, somewhat thin and hollow sound. By the time I reached high school, I was in three youth orchestras outside of my high school and was the chair. Granted, there may have only been three of us bassoonists in the orchestra, but I still loved it. To this day, I adore orchestral music. Unfortunately, I have not played since I was 18 years old.

2. I broke my right arm playing women's club soccer in college. I slid on the grass and went over a sprinkler, breaking my arm. My friend Vicky took me to my parent's house, where Dad was sleeping from having worked graveyard shift. He took me to the hospital where it was aligned and cast. I proceeded to take the semester off school. It was the semester I met my long-term boyfriend from college.

3. I had two scholarships in college and was a National Merit Scholar. Unfortunately, I lost both scholarships due to poor grades in my sophomore year. I was fortunate to finally move in with Kristan, who was extremely studious. I like to say that I gave her a social life and she gave me good grades. It was a very symbiotic relationship.

4. I was dateless for nearly three years after my long-term boyfriend from college and I broke it off. I used the time to learn about myself and started to become very physically fit. I lived in the northwest corner of New Mexico, with the southern edge of the Rockies just an hour north of me. I lived in the mountains on the weekends. During the week, I started running after work and playing soccer. It was an enviable lifestyle.

5. I moved to Tulsa for a job. A job I left five years ago. I stayed for a man I married 6.5 years ago and the little boy we had six years ago. Do the math. Yes, I was pregnant when we married.

6. I was hospitalized with anorexia when I was 13 yo. I was not seriously skinny - maybe 100 lb at 5 ft 6 in, but well on my way. I was not a bulimic - could not handle making myself vomit. I have yo-yo'd a lot since that time, but settled into stable weight - plus /minus 10 lb or so - over the past 15 years or more. Perhaps this helps explain my addiction to running.

7. There is not a single person I communicate with my childhood, outside of my family. It was not unhappy, but I feel like I am such a different person now. There are one or two people I wonder about to this day, but that is about all. My husband, on the other hand, has a lot of people around here he knows. We are always bumping into people from his past.

Please tell me a few random things about yourself.

Why do I run?

I run because it reminds me that I am still young

I run because I enjoy exerting my lungs until they hurt

I run because it counteracts the M&M's or the chocolate doughnut I ate

I run to keep up with my children

I run to keep my heartrate low

I run to clear my head

I run to put order my day

I run to sweat

I run because I can

Denver Half Marathon Recap

The reports state that it was 34 degrees at the 8 a.m. start. It was drizzly, overcast and cold. We donned our last minute protection of garbage bags in the car as Aimee drove us to the starting line. We were in good spirits as we found our way to the starting line, between the 5:30 marathoners and the "fast walkers."

I had entered the race with no expectations. I had trained, but not as faithfully to my plan as I had hoped. In the past, I had started races with high expectations only to be disappointed in the end. My tactic was to have no expectations and therefore not be disappointed mid-race if I failed to meet those high expectations.

As we started, it took nearly 3 min to pass the start line. That is when I started my watch and the chip on my shoe clocked me in. The anticipation and nervous stomach of the previous two hours was no longer a factor. I had ditched my iPod in the car. I did not want to worry about fiddling with the earbuds throughout the race and I had ruined more than one iPod in the rain. This race was going to be about me and my own thoughts.

The first mile passed in 10:15 and I kept my chin up, my eyes focused as I jostled my way through and around other runners to find my own comfortable pace, not the pace of others around me. The second mile passed at the 19:20 mark. Little faster, so that is good. We were winding through LoDo and it had a lot of curves, some slight downhills, and yet more curves. The spectators were great - I saw many people with young children bundled against the cold and protected from the rain in strollers. Mile three hit at around 28 min, so I was continuing to improve my pace.

When we hit 17th street, which would take us all the way to City Park at mile 5.5 or so, I knew it would be a bit of a long, sort of boring stretch. Without the distraction of music, I was left with my mind wandering, listening to the rain, and the conversations around me. And not just a little heavy breathing.

At mile 5, I removed my soaked, long sleeved, dry-wick shirt and tied it around my waist. I had told Aimee to look for me at 40-45 min at mile 5, but had not included the 3 minutes it took me to go to the start. I kept looking for her, but did not see her. It was a good way to distract my thoughts in the tough middle miles of a race.

The entry to City Park enabled us to view faster runners on their way to mile 9. Damn. I wish I was that fast! City Park was tough - miles 6-8 or so - lots of winding around, never really sure where you were going to end coming out, only to come out, go left for two-tenths of a mile, make a direct turnabout and head back down 17th street to mile 9. At mile 9, I am chugging along, when I hear Aimee. I lift my head and pretend that I feel as jaunty as my wave hello.

When I had hit mile 6, I started to believe I could come in with a 2:00 finish. So I kept pushing my pace, making sure I held back enough to go the distance, but also letting myself feel good about the pace. While in City Park, I spotted a pacer about 100 ft in front of me. I thought it might be the 4:00 pacer, so I tried to catch up to him. Damn. It was the 4:15 pacer. Crap. There goes my time.

After mile 10, we headed into Cheesman Park. It was tough. It was uphill, curvy, and it sucked. It was the one time I thought I might walk a portion. The chronic problem of my right foot falling asleep during runs longer than 90 min popped up, but my mind somehow refused to listen. I chugged on. On our descent out of the park, I saw another pacer ahead. Could it be? Yes, it was the 4:00 pacer. Yippy kie yay! I passed him on our way past the water stop at 11 miles. Two more freaking miles to go.

Out of Cheesman Park, we were headed out back toward the federal building. I am concentrating on my pace, my breathing and working my mind to mile 12 when I look up and see Wax Trax I. Total blast from the past. This was the place to go for alternative, indie music when I was in college. This is where I bought my first Cure tape, my first Gene Loves Jezebel tape, where my college friend Michelle and I would go whenever we had a chance and an extra $20. That nostalgia lasted quite a way.

Nearing mile 12, the marathoners split from the half marathoners. A fellow runner told me to go get warm and cheer for him at the end. I clapped and cheered as I said farewell to many with whom I had been running with for the past 1:45. I was on my way to the finish, if I could just get through another mile.

The last mile was cold. The wind whipped my face and bare arms. My hands were frozen into fists. I felt great and just wanted to get the best time possible at that point. As we rounded the last curve and saw the finish line, many fellow runners dug deep and sprinted to the finish. I, too, dug depp, but came up empty. I continued with my pace, slightly faster maybe, but nowhere close to a sprint.

I finished at 1:55:45 chip time, 1:58:38 clock time. A personal best. The last time I had run a good half marathon in the 2:00 range was 9.5 years and two children ago.

The fabulous volunteers cut off the chip, put a finisher's medal around my neck and a gatorade in my hands. I went in search of a space blanket and found them. My euphoria was starting to meet the reality of my cold body.

I found my way to the finish line at Colfax and cheered for the finishers. I looked forward to watching the elite athletes in the marathon. The men came in around 2:22. Gretchen came over at 2:42 - good job, woman! After I told her I would see her at the end of the chute, the woman marathon winner crossed at 2:43 - a masters runner at that!

I wandered around trying to find Gretchen when I saw Anne. She had a good time, too - 2:48 or so, I think. After stumbling around a bit more, Anne saw Gretchen, who informed us that Aimee was nearby and prepared with blankets and fleece jackets. She was my hero, I tell you. By this time, I was chattering and shivering so bad I could barely think.

Aimee brought us to her home and Bryan had prepared coffee, soup and foccacia bread. The coffee was complemented with Bailey's. That can warm a girl.

Despite the temperature and the rain, the run was amazing and fabulous. We each exceeded our expectations. Sometimes it is truly a matter of mind over body and Sunday was such a day. The purpose of training is to enable the body to perform once the brain allows it.

Next up: Tulsa Run 15K on October 27.

I may fall over...

...in sheer delight and anticipation.

We now have (1) working toilets on the main level and (2) running water in the new kitchen sink. It has been around 10 weeks since we have had either.

Jogging / Running - What's the Difference?

What is the difference between jogging and running? hm? What do you think? My thoughts next week.

Well, N's school had their annual jog-a-thon and it was very cute. Imagine 24 5-6 yo's lined up and ready to go, then watch their energy dissipate over the course of 4-5 (or in one case, 6) laps around the quarter mile track. I was really proud of N. Although he does not have the build of a runner, he is very competitive and ran 2nd fastest! Not that it was a race, but everything to him is a competition of some kind.

Many kids walked most of hte distance, which is not a bad thing. The point is that they were outside on a beautiful 67 degree, sunny autumn day. At the end, many thought they had gone at least 100 laps. Hilarious. But they may as well as they felt proud of what they had done. The energy with which they undertook this was infectious.

After they left, I stuck around for the 2nd graders. It was interesting that they did not have the same competive and energetic approach as they schoolmates two years younger. Although one boy was on his 7th lap when I left.

Tomorrow I head to Denver with my friend Anne and baby J. We are staying with my parents for a couple nights, but the point of the trip is to run / jog / walk the half marathon in the 2nd Annual Denver Marathon. None of us are exactly prepared, but we will all endeavor to do our best. I am not holding out hope for a PR like a two weeks ago, but I do hope to enjoy the weather, the fall colors and my friends. Most of all, my friends.

Happy Birthday, N!

Happy sixth birthday to the sweet,
crazy, fun, loving big (but still little) boy in my life!

How to describe him?

He is energetic, outgoing, vivacious, crazy, but also can be quick tempered and whiney when tired.

He is loving and tender and incredibly sweet at times, growing into an empathetic young man.

He is curious and loves puzzles. He likes to win at everything and insists on being the best of everybody. (then again, he is 6)

He is encouraging and celebrates the success of others as if they were his.

He is funny and laughs with his entire body and soul - it's a true laugh.

He is sincere and can be fragile at times. Strange to think that of such a touch guy. His feelings can be hurt by those he admires and likes more than I would have expected, but he can also let it roll off his back when he does not care about the other person.

He is my first baby and I can remember so many things about him. His personality was evident at an early age.

I could not imagine having kids before I was pregnant. He was not necessarily planned, but he was wanted. Of course, like any mother would say, I cannot imagine my life without him. He has made me be a better person.

Happy Birthday, N! May each year bring more happiness to you.

What Is the Going Rate for....

Breast milk? hm? What do you think?

The last time I pumped was on Saturday and I got a measley 3 oz. My breasts are in shutdown mode, but are engorged on the way to total shutdown and retirement from service. As I said to W the other morning, I could easily have kept pumping and sold the stuff. He looked slightly disgusted and said, " I am not sure I would want to know anybody who would buy it."

I started to wonder if there existed a market for such. Apparently there is. The going rate per ounce? $1.00-1.50 per ounce. Ouch. That's a lot of money, folks. More than bottled water! More than high octane gasoline. Not quite as precious as diamonds or gold, though.

As I sit here, my mind is going over the math. I could produce 45 oz/day in 1.75 hr and estimating a modest $1.00/oz cleared (say the extra 50 cents went to storage, shipping & handling), then that is equivalent to $25.71/hr. Add the bonus of burning all those extra calories and suddenly it doesn't seem like such a crazy idea, does it?

So the question remains, how long would it last without a baby there? Would a woman's body be able to perpetually produce milk as long as it was demanded? What would be the long term effects of doing so?

Who would buy such a product? I know the easy answers - moms of little ones who cannot supply it on their own and instead would look toward supplementing with formula. Another thing came to me in my search - apparently it is also used for baby animals who do not have another source (like the mother). What other health reasons would require it?

Two Wheels Instead of Four

N has started riding his bicycle without the training wheels as of last Monday. We had removed the training wheels in May in an effort to have him learn how to ride without them. His enthusiasm for such lasted about a week. When it did not become easy, he asked that they be put back on. We never did it. Then, over the course of the summer, his bicycle ended up in a newly constructed closet with dust all over it.

The past month or so, he found it in the garage, where the carpenters had moved it in order to put trim in the new closet. One morning, he had gone outside to play for a few minutes while I gathered the final items for our trek to school. (any other moms feel like a pack mule most mornings?) I came outside to find that he was trying to ride it, but that nobody bothered to dust it off and he had layers of dust on his clean school clothes. So, I told him how proud of him I was, then requested that he return to his room to change.

That day after work and school, he wanted to practice riding his bicycle. He would make it a little way, but could never really get himself started. All week, he would practice for about 5 min in the mornings.

Last Monday, he wanted to practice after school again. He seemed to somehow understand how to get himself started. He would make it about three feet, then lose his balance. He rode almost every day after school last week. This weekend, he was outside all the time. Sunday, he rode around the block four separate times (I had J in the jogging stroller) and he could navigate the steep hills - both down and up - all over the neighborhood. I am quite proud of him!

Now, he needs to learn to tie his shoes.

They're Back!

Finally. At long last. After 18-20 months of enlargement and achiness and over sensitivity, my size B's are back. I am so relieved. Who cares if they look deflated? Who cares that they have ceased to be perky? They are back to a size with which I am much more comfortable.

I need to find and purchase new bras - everyday support and running support. My running bras are mostly stretched out. I selected an everyday bra - size 36C - this morning and the cup material is gathered. ACK! Not a good look, so I had to change my shirt several times this morning.

It is also nice that I am not on permanent attention, either. And it wasn't because they were cold. They were just ready to go to work.

Truly, I marvel at what my body was able to do for a year. It's rather crazy, isn't it?

December 2005

Sometime late December 2005 is that last time I had a visit by the menstruation fairy.

I am now pumping once/day for 8 min, getting about 6 oz. I will be done pumping by Friday.

That means she will make her appearance soon. It will close to 22 months without her company. I am not looking forward to her arrival.

Personal Bests

A little brag to start my day because it makes me grin whenever I think of it.

As you may know, N goes to a school located at a local university and loosely associated with the school itself. He thinks he actually attends the university. The university held it annual fundraiser run this weekend - 1 mi fun run, 5k race and 8k race. N and W ran the 1 mi fun run and looked so darn cute doing it. I ran the 8k race.

I have a bit of performance anxiety when it comes to racing. I can have fabulous training runs only to completely bonk at the race for which I was training. The marathon in March is evidence of such.

The boys finished in about 11 min, grabbed some water (and a cookie) and headed out to change clothes for soccer pics and game. About 5 min later, the 8k / 5k started. I started out and felt good. I clocked my first km at about 5:15 min, thinking not too bad. I had a stretch goal of 40 min flat, but thought it might be closer to 42 min. So, the second km, I had 9:46 min. The third km, I was at 14:30. This was a wee bit downhill and I was passing people, taking advantage of the natural slope versus the feeling to wanting to brake myself as I went down the hill. At the 4 km mark, I was at 19:10.

I was well on my way to meeting my goal, but all I could think about was those uphill sections ahead. BLECH. Well, I made it. Most of the race, I was running with one guy ahead and one guy behind me just a few paces. I used them to pace myself and it worked well. At the 6k water stop, I stopped to take a sip and walk a few paces, then made myself start running again. At 7k, I could see the last turn, then the stretch into the stadium.

I crossed the finish line at 39:13, chip time. I personal best, the first in my age group (1/20), eighth in women (8/104) and 68th overall finisher (68/240). I was stoked, but as I sprinted across the line and stopped for a volunteer to remove the chip timer, I was nauseous. I truly had dug deep and performed about as well as my body was able to perform.

I felt wonderful. I had achieved something I had not done in some time - to race very well and to prove to myself that my training was working. Sometimes, as I am in the middle of a tempo run or on the 5th of 10 speed repeats or doing a slow but long run on the weekends, I wonder if it is really worth it. Is following a more rigorous training program really going to improve my times and does it really matter to me? Why do I not return to logging 10 min miles every day in a normal 4-5 mi run? Why am I obsessed with time? I am still not a contender in any way, so why do I care if I can shave 30 seconds off my time over X miles?

My answer is yes, it is worth it. I am competing with myself. I am trying to improve my times to show myself that it can be done. It does not matter that I am not going to win a metal or be the very first out of every woman. I know there are many more runners out there who are faster. However, I know now that I am putting forth my best effort and that I am working hard for myself.